All posts filed under “Parenting Mistakes

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“You’re dead to me!”

“You don’t have a son anymore!”  Those angry words are shouted through the phone, followed by the silence of a severed connection. Somewhere your adult child severed more than just a phone link. He wants you out of his life, forever. Or maybe you’re the… Read more

Angry Trump
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Surviving the mean season

It’s that magical season when families gather, tension builds and arguments flare. No, I’m not talking about Christmas. I’m talking about the time in America between election and inauguration – the “mean season.” I haven’t taken a poll, but judging by social media, our four… Read more

Swimming Toddler
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Just let them go under

The toddlers who lined up at the edge of the swimming pool were learning a life lesson: Jump in and your mom will catch you. Or maybe she won’t. Either way, you’re probably not going to drown. I watched the “Mommy and Me” swim class… Read more

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My son the doctor (or maybe the “virtual social influencer”)

This is your idea of a career for your 20-something child – doctor, lawyer, engineer, teacher. This is their idea of a job – a flex-hours position doing something you’ve never heard of in some hipster-run company in California where every day is casual Friday, the… Read more

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When you need a parental do-over

There they stood, a father who had expected more maturity than his son possessed, and a 17-year-old boy with a hangover trying to figure out what happened. “Sure, I let him have a few drinks with me at home,” the father said to me. “But… Read more

Street signs, intersection of Success and Fairlure
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You had a plan for your child? How amusing.

Expectations are the seeds of disappointment.  Yes, those lofty goals you set for your baby fresh out of the womb may be the reason you are kicking yourself 20 plus years later: “My son the doctor.”  “My daughter the astronaut.”  Even your most modest dreams… Read more

Man climbing a rock face
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Make Room For Daddy

  Treacherous cliffs are a metaphor for my parenting.  My kids want to dangle from them. I stand at the base wringing my hands, even now that my kids are grown. If you’re that danger-averse parent, listen and learn. When our children were young we… Read more

An Apple and an Orange
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Apples and Oranges: The Envy Trap

Our local indoor swimming pool has a lazy river. Early morning hours are reserved for a “water walk” in the warm current. The crowd is mostly older folks walking with the current to relieve the aches and pains of aging. I usually walk upstream and… Read more

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The Best Laid Plans…

My son Will had his college fund in the bag at the age of 7 as a result of a class action law suit. He had suffered long term health problems from drinking our local water after a preventable sewage spill into the water system. … Read more

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The Nuclear Option

Disappointment is a powerful weapon in a parent’s arsenal. It’s not the same as anger, frustration or fear. Disappointment says “I know better than you.”  It says, “You didn’t do it my way and therefore you did it the wrong way.” Disappointment from a parent… Read more