“You don’t have a son anymore!” Those angry words are shouted through the phone, followed by the silence of a severed connection. Somewhere your adult child severed more than just a phone link. He wants you out of his life, forever. Or maybe you’re the… Read more
All posts filed under “Tough Love”
Just let them go under
The toddlers who lined up at the edge of the swimming pool were learning a life lesson: Jump in and your mom will catch you. Or maybe she won’t. Either way, you’re probably not going to drown. I watched the “Mommy and Me” swim class… Read more
Saint or Sinner? The addicted child.
The scrapbook of Danny’s life tells one side of his story – Eagle Scout, mountaineer, gymnast, Mormon missionary, soldier, favorite uncle, friend, brother. And then a casket carried by father and siblings to a grave in a military cemetery when he was just 27, dead from… Read more
When Tough Love Doesn’t Work
My friends Val and Carol (names changed to protect the guilty) have something in common. They have adult sons who, when backed into a corner, will invariably make a disastrous choice about how to get out. Those of the “tough love” persuasion, smugly advise parents… Read more
Raised By Wolves
At the ripe old age of 40, I inherited three step children, ages 8,10 and 12. One of the first preservation skills I learned as a new mother was to distance myself from their faults. “I wasn’t there when you were born,” was my go-to… Read more
When your child is no longer a child
Parenting doesn’t stop when your child “ages out.” What comes next may prove to be your biggest challenge as a parent. It is the secret rarely shared with new parents, that 20 years down the road, adult children may put a heavy burden — physical, emotional, financial and spiritual — on their parents. Welcome to the borderlands of parenting. Be forewarned; what you read here will focus on parents, not adult children. You cannot change your adult child, but you can understand, learn coping skills and, if necessary, change yourself. Feel free to share your own experiences in the “Comments” section of each blog post. Your civil and compassionate dialogue may be just the advice another struggling parent needs. To send me a private email, see the “contact” link below. Also subscribe below to receive email updates about new blogs. If you know someone else who could use this community of readers, use the share links. Now, scroll down for the most recent posts!