Parenting in the Borderlands
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When your child is no longer a child

Parenting doesn’t stop when your child “ages out.” What comes next may prove to be your biggest challenge as a parent.  It is the secret rarely shared with new parents, that 20 years down the road, adult children may put a heavy burden — physical, emotional, financial and spiritual — on their parents.  Welcome to the borderlands of parenting. Be forewarned; what you read here will focus on parents, not adult children. You cannot change your adult child, but you can understand, learn coping skills and, if necessary, change yourself.  Feel free to share your own experiences in the “Comments” section of each blog post. Your civil and compassionate dialogue may be just the advice another struggling parent needs.  To send me a private email, see the “contact” link below. Also subscribe below to receive email updates about new blogs. If you know someone else who could use this community of readers, use the share links. Now, scroll down for the most recent posts!


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“You’re dead to me!”

“You don’t have a son anymore!”  Those angry words are shouted through the phone, followed by the silence of a severed connection. Somewhere your adult child severed more than just a phone link. He wants you out of his life, forever. Or maybe you’re the… Read more

Balcony scene
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Speak now or forever hold your peace?

Romeo and Juliet is more than a Shakespearean tragedy about teen lovers trying to break free of their oppressive parents. It is a phenomenon recognized by some social scientists as “the Romeo and Juliet effect:” Johnny and Jane fall in “love;” their parents say, “over… Read more

Angry Trump
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Surviving the mean season

It’s that magical season when families gather, tension builds and arguments flare. No, I’m not talking about Christmas. I’m talking about the time in America between election and inauguration – the “mean season.” I haven’t taken a poll, but judging by social media, our four… Read more

Swimming Toddler
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Just let them go under

The toddlers who lined up at the edge of the swimming pool were learning a life lesson: Jump in and your mom will catch you. Or maybe she won’t. Either way, you’re probably not going to drown. I watched the “Mommy and Me” swim class… Read more

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My son the doctor (or maybe the “virtual social influencer”)

This is your idea of a career for your 20-something child – doctor, lawyer, engineer, teacher. This is their idea of a job – a flex-hours position doing something you’ve never heard of in some hipster-run company in California where every day is casual Friday, the… Read more