Some families have mottos or mission statements. Our family has a good-humored rejoinder: “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” It helps to diffuse a variety of family disagreements – our way of agreeing to disagree. It is a phrase that parents of adult children… Read more
My friends Val and Carol (names changed to protect the guilty) have something in common. They have adult sons who, when backed into a corner, will invariably make a disastrous choice about how to get out. Those of the “tough love” persuasion, smugly advise parents… Read more
At the ripe old age of 40, I inherited three step children, ages 8,10 and 12. One of the first preservation skills I learned as a new mother was to distance myself from their faults. “I wasn’t there when you were born,” was my go-to… Read more
More than two decades ago, as a new and naive mother, I assumed that when my children turned 18, I could put their suitcase on the front porch and tell them, “My job here is done. Write when you get work.” By then I would… Read more
Parenting doesn’t stop when your child “ages out.” What comes next may prove to be your biggest challenge as a parent. It is the secret rarely shared with new parents, that 20 years down the road, adult children may put a heavy burden — physical, emotional, financial and spiritual — on their parents. Welcome to the borderlands of parenting. Be forewarned; what you read here will focus on parents, not adult children. You cannot change your adult child, but you can understand, learn coping skills and, if necessary, change yourself. Feel free to share your own experiences in the “Comments” section of each blog post. Your civil and compassionate dialogue may be just the advice another struggling parent needs. To send me a private email, see the “contact” link below. Also subscribe below to receive email updates about new blogs. If you know someone else who could use this community of readers, use the share links. Now, scroll down for the most recent posts!