Who picks up the check speaks volumes about your relationship with your adult children. Picture this: You’ve just polished off the dessert at a pricey restaurant with your son and daughter-in-law and their four children. You’re visiting in their town and they chose the restaurant.… Read more
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What you don’t know won’t hurt you
You won’t find “plausible denial” on the standard list of parenting techniques next to helicopter parenting and tough love. It’s the best kept secret for successfully coping with adult children. Here’s how it works. On my son Will’s first day of kindergarten two decades ago,… Read more
“You’re dead to me!”
“You don’t have a son anymore!” Those angry words are shouted through the phone, followed by the silence of a severed connection. Somewhere your adult child severed more than just a phone link. He wants you out of his life, forever. Or maybe you’re the… Read more
Speak now or forever hold your peace?
Romeo and Juliet is more than a Shakespearean tragedy about teen lovers trying to break free of their oppressive parents. It is a phenomenon recognized by some social scientists as “the Romeo and Juliet effect:” Johnny and Jane fall in “love;” their parents say, “over… Read more
The Rest of the Story…
We parents of a “certain age” were raised in the golden era of radio when there was more than music and yammering DJs. There was drama, there was mystery, and there were the sages of the air. My favorite was Paul Harvey and his nightly… Read more
It’s not your fault
“Welcome to parenthood. You’ll never again blow out birthday candles and make a wish for yourself.” This wisdom from the TV series “Zoo” sums up the pain of parenting. There is always something wrong that we wish to make right. This is especially poignant when… Read more
Surviving the mean season
It’s that magical season when families gather, tension builds and arguments flare. No, I’m not talking about Christmas. I’m talking about the time in America between election and inauguration – the “mean season.” I haven’t taken a poll, but judging by social media, our four… Read more
The Uses of Adversity
Admit it. There are times when you wish your troubled adult child would “hit bottom” because there is nowhere to go from there but up. Philosophers, poets and prophets have long argued that a little bit of hardship can go a long way toward building… Read more
Just let them go under
The toddlers who lined up at the edge of the swimming pool were learning a life lesson: Jump in and your mom will catch you. Or maybe she won’t. Either way, you’re probably not going to drown. I watched the “Mommy and Me” swim class… Read more
My son the doctor (or maybe the “virtual social influencer”)
This is your idea of a career for your 20-something child – doctor, lawyer, engineer, teacher. This is their idea of a job – a flex-hours position doing something you’ve never heard of in some hipster-run company in California where every day is casual Friday, the… Read more