All posts filed under “Millenials

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“You’re dead to me!”

“You don’t have a son anymore!”  Those angry words are shouted through the phone, followed by the silence of a severed connection. Somewhere your adult child severed more than just a phone link. He wants you out of his life, forever. Or maybe you’re the… Read more

Balcony scene
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Speak now or forever hold your peace?

Romeo and Juliet is more than a Shakespearean tragedy about teen lovers trying to break free of their oppressive parents. It is a phenomenon recognized by some social scientists as “the Romeo and Juliet effect:” Johnny and Jane fall in “love;” their parents say, “over… Read more

Swimming Toddler
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Just let them go under

The toddlers who lined up at the edge of the swimming pool were learning a life lesson: Jump in and your mom will catch you. Or maybe she won’t. Either way, you’re probably not going to drown. I watched the “Mommy and Me” swim class… Read more

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My son the doctor (or maybe the “virtual social influencer”)

This is your idea of a career for your 20-something child – doctor, lawyer, engineer, teacher. This is their idea of a job – a flex-hours position doing something you’ve never heard of in some hipster-run company in California where every day is casual Friday, the… Read more

Black and white sheep
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Are you giving your black sheep a baaad rap?

Sheep get no respect. Nobody wants a child to turn out to be the “lost sheep” or the “black sheep.” It’s time to take a broader look at these misunderstood mammals, and at your adult children who fit the description. You may have been wrong… Read more

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When you need a parental do-over

There they stood, a father who had expected more maturity than his son possessed, and a 17-year-old boy with a hangover trying to figure out what happened. “Sure, I let him have a few drinks with me at home,” the father said to me. “But… Read more

Child factory worker
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Your Child: Asset or Ornament?

Why did you have children?  Your answer would be very different from that of your great grandparents. Even as recently as 75 years ago in America, children were valued as contributing laborers in the family. Today they are embellishments. They exist to give their parents… Read more

Praying hands
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Leaving the Faith Part 3

If your adult child has left your faith, and their choice is keeping you up at night, it’s time to take the focus off of them and find support for yourself. In two recent blog posts I addressed several possible reasons children leave the church… Read more

Street signs, intersection of Success and Fairlure
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You had a plan for your child? How amusing.

Expectations are the seeds of disappointment.  Yes, those lofty goals you set for your baby fresh out of the womb may be the reason you are kicking yourself 20 plus years later: “My son the doctor.”  “My daughter the astronaut.”  Even your most modest dreams… Read more

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Leaving the faith

If your adult child has left the church in which you raised them, you join an ever growing community of parents trying to figure out why. Parents who feel a strong connection to their faith wonder why they didn’t pass that on to their children.… Read more